notFiddleheads

I have things, lists in my head, of things I want to do, places I want to go and things I want to eat.  Sometimes, I actually make one of them happen.  Today was one such day!  I’ve wanted to forage fiddlehead ferns and munch ‘em for I don’t know how long.  My accomplishment of mushroom pickin’ pushed my desire for fern up a notch toward reality.  I’ve been reading up on them for the last couple of months determined to NOT miss my window of opportunity yet again.  Hard as it is to believe, it was NOT raining today, so notLolly and I headed out to enjoy the sun, go for a hiking adventure and find some fern.  We did!  We brought ‘em home and I fried ‘em up and notLolly scarfed ‘em down.  I wasn’t overly impressed.  I want to try a different way of cooking them.  But, that’s not nearly as important to me as the fact that I did it!

I’m LOVING this foraging experience!

The notGift

NotLolly on January 25th, 2012 with the gift that changed so much.

We finally did our Christmas because we wanted to make Christmas last.

When she opened her oven she said, “Oh, Mom!  Now I can make cookies to save the library!”

And so it began.

notLast Year’s Frog Catch

I said that I would put up last year’s picture of all our frogs.  2010 was an exceptional frog catchin’ year.  The frogs were like the plague.  I would put out my hand and the frogs would jump right in and I would sling ‘em in a Subway bag.  NotLolly holds the bag and I stack frogs up high.  Caught one frog in the  middle of eating another frog–little flippers hanging out his big mouth.  NotLolly did NOT like this at all!  There was much crying and fussing that they were all going to eat each other.  I tried to console her with the fact that the big one is full now, so the others are safe for a little while.  I laugh at myself just thinking of that!  Ha!

NotLolly loves her frog experience.

notFrogs: The Best Toy

For at least the last three years, notLolly and I wait for the first big rain at the end of summer.  The bullfrogs make a run for the creek and grab as many as we can for temporary pets.  NotLolly can’t wait to get them in the bathtub.  She plays for hours with her favorite bathtub toys!

This year, we only got two.  But, last year we got fourteen!

Maybe, I will find an old pictures of notLolly with her fourteen frogs.

We love our frog experience.

notHorses

We get to see a LOT of wildlife on the notFarm.  We have been visited by herds of elk, trouble-making bear, napping deer, mess-making raccoon, hungry fox, stink-making skunk and curious bobcat.  One morning we woke up to three skittish horses.

I called a neighbor and tracked down the owner.  Grabbed some apples and got them some hay and a big bucket of water.  NotLolly loves horses and was so excited to have them in her own yard.

“Mom, can we keep one, please?  Just one?”

notDream

Unusual dreams are nothing new for me.  I’ve been eaten by a giant spider wearing a top hat while family stood by and watched.  I have discovered my genetic ability to fly.  I have died had to compensate for upside down wings.  As I age, I seem to remember fewer and fewer dreams.   Writing down the dreamlike experiences, helps me to remember them.

I enjoy the dream experience.

 

     Driving along the river, the evening sun is lighting up the fir trees and the barren oaks.  There is a shallow fog moving in over the pasture where we have stopped.  It’s beautiful and it turns surreal as he turns to me and says, “I don’t know what to do with you.”  Historically, I’ve had this question asked of me by extremely frustrated individuals and I am the cause of the question without a doubt.  But not now.  Not here.  Serious and kind, he initiates an honest dialogue.  We face each other and he makes himself so vulnerable I can’t breathe.  I need air.  I don’t know what this is and I can’t breathe.  I can’t respond.

     Sometimes in life we get to make choices.  We get to choose our adventure.  We can choose and we should choose.  We can make decisions with our brains instead of being tossed about.  We can choose the next chapter.  Let’s talk about it.  Let’s bring it to the table and negotiate.  Let’s show our preferences and likes that have nothing to do with reason.  Let’s share our influencing histories.  Let’s consider our communities and reputations.  Let’s honor our weaknesses.  Let’s be realistic about our priorities and available time.  Let us think about how our current decisions might affect our futures.

    My mind can’t keep up.  There’s too much.  I can’t assimilate meaning fast enough.  My past is interfering.  I am in awe and disbelief.  Slow down, please.  Back up.  My ears hear your words but my brain can’t digest fast enough.  My heart is busy wrapping this up for keeps and my soul is trying to take forever memory pictures.  Hold up a minute.

     Can’t.  No time.  This is the day and the time we have.  The hours and minutes are rushing by.  Seize it.  Don’t waste it.  This might never happen again.  I’m awash in something sacred that others may never experience in the whole of their lives.  I am blessed in this moment right here and now.  This is my glimpse and it’s gone.  Time’s up.  I still don’t fully understand.  This bare naked truth is too pretty and I can’t think.  I don’t want to think.  I want to feel it.  I want to hold it for a second if I can.  I want to try to remember how it feels.  I’ll have to think later.

    Two people.  Open and honest.  Not hiding anything.  Sacred and uncomfortable.  I know who I am.  He knows who he is.  There’s no offense and none to be taken.

     What am I going to do with you?  I don’t know.  But, thank you for this honest experience.

Bright & Shiny Library Lights

Last night, I went driving through my hometown without much thought rattling around in my brain, heading toward the library to return a book that was due.  NotLolly was with me so I pulled up close to the book drop, leaving the pickup running, I pulled the emergency brake, got out and went up to the book drop.  I opened the the flapper-thingy and slid the book in with success.  Good job, notJoy!  Another tick on the ol’ checklist.

I whirled around and was blinded by swirling, bright, shiny, red and blue lights!  I stopped in my tracks.  I didn’t know if I’m suppose to move.  I’ve always been inside my vehicles when the lights are flashing.  I can’t see to get down the library steps.  I didn’t know what I did either.  Should I put my hands up?  Can I go back to my pickup?  Oh, crap, technically I left notLolly unattended.  I can’t see the cop.  Why is he hiding?  Don’t they hide when they have a gun?  I don’t have a gun.  Do I?  It was just a book!  Is this Valerie’s* doing?  What does the copper think I put down the book drop?  I took a couple of blind steps toward my pickup and stopped again.  Now I’m acting weird!  Now I gotta hold still for the cop’s sake!  Dang it!  I had two offers to bail me out of jail this week.  That’s a good thing, I think.  Finally the cop came out of the bright swirly lights and spoke, “You probably figured out why I stopped you.”  Don’t be a smartass, notJoy.  All I can do is laugh.  He is so going to make me breathe or walk straight which I can’t do with those stupid lights swirling in my eyeballs!  “You have a headlight out,” he finally offers up.  Headlight!  Right!  A relief giggle pops out.  Stop laughing!  I stumble over some words of explanation as I stumble down the library steps and laugh again.  Stop laughing!  I finally get to my pickup and notLolly is counting out her money, “I have this much money, Mama.  Will that get you out of trouble?”  That’s my girl!  Try to bribe the cop!  I throw back my head and let off a great big laugh and because now this is funny and I’m getting giggly.  This is bad.  He wants my license and insurance.  I start to lean into the pickup and pull back and ask if I can get into my purse.  I want the cop to feel safe.   I hand over my drivers license.  I ask if I can get in the glove compartment for the insurance.  Insurance isn’t in it’s designated spot.  I find it in my purse.    I bust out laughing again because it’s not suppose to be in my purse.  I’m going to get busted if I don’t stop acting stupid.  Should have went with my usual smartass approach to the cop.

That was a new library experience!

*Valerie is the librarian.